READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
