she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
