I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize