i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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