ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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