I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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