i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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