Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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