you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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