well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I think I sprained my soul last night
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
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