after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
