I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
The adults are the big ones right?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
