It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
