You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
