Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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