Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize