She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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