did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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