I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
