Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
that's an acceptable place to lick
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
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had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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