This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
