Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Randomize
