turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize