It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
