I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
