Cold hands, warm shart.
I accidentally had phone sex last night
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at about main and main street
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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