You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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