i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize