he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Your cock deserves a montage
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
