Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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