Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize