So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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