do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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