Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
