so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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