2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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