i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
