Having a random hookup so left but love u
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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