Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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