She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
