SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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