There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
