maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
