maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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