Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
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He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
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Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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