What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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