so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
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I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
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Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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