Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
