Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
