the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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