the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
