It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize