no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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