Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
did i just pee glitter
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
