Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
