well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
