I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
