I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
