last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize