i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
smell my finger.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
