i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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